Lol. Interesting letter to single women from a concerned wife. Read below and tell us what you think
Dear Single Ladies,
Na wa. Yes, na wa. Not because I am ignorant of appropriate ways to
begin a letter but because no other beginning could be more expressively
appropriate for you. "Na wa" because it is a common expression of
bewilderment like when we hear Sister Lucy is called Candy outside
church. "Na wa" because it is fitting for disgust like when we see Sisi
Kemi is becoming a grandmother - scratch that, mother - as she is
pregnant for Baba Ade. "Na wa" because we are fatigued by speechlessness
seeing that when we say the Lord's prayer for our husbands, we should
replace "temptations" with "evil single ladies". Hence, on these counts
and more, I greet you "na wa".
I have tried to make sense of your thing with our husbands. Though it
is common knowledge that people cheat (it obviously transcends gender),
you don't find it easily accepted. Permit the truism that people won't
cheat if they've got no one to cheat with. Indeed, it is an issue we
have to settle with our husbands. Yet, I dare to play the woman-to-woman
card and clear this repugnant air with you. Trying to see things
through your eyes, I wonder: what makes you accept married men as
lovers?
Money? How much exactly? How much can a man possibly offer you that
you can't challenge yourself to make by yourself? That you are single
means you are young, free and vibrant. So why not make that work
positively profitably for you? I mean, except you are a daft, lazy,
gold-digging leech (which I want to believe you are not), then you can
be independent.
I have seen some of you sincerely swear that no single
man can say he pays your bills. This is true because first they are not
single and second because they are mostly "various" men. But I certainly
don't mean independent like that.
You like older men? I can't judge you for that penchant. I really
understand. Especially since many young men are still stuck on Jay Z's
"Young Forever" and are this close to leaving puberty in their 30's.
Since your turn-on is understandably maturity, I insistently scream, "By
all means". However, I have a simple request: leave the married men
alone. There are widowers who would love their second wives deeply and
elderly men who for some reason never got married. These are a perfect
class of options for you to frolic with or build that
better-than-Telemundo love story. But please, leave the married men
alone.
We are messed up married women? Our husbands tell you we suck in bed,
nag their hormones dead and still smell of maggi no matter how we
bathe? So, you become their aspirin for we headache-wives. Very kind
you. But the beatitude on peacemaker doesn't in anyway mean this neither
are Nobel for Peace so won. Really want to help? Leave matter for
"Matayas".
Further thought on other reasons have yielded nothing. Don't join a
man in defying his vows. If you have no regard for God who warns that
none should put asunder (I'm astounded that you don't see a retribution
there), then fear the Devil. Wives are getting vicious. Ezinwa died
stuck in intercourse with Papa Emeka. Onome has gone mad. Sarah has
razor cuts on her face. Our husbands can't be excited by dead girls so
how do you miss these vile stories?
Another emphatic plea: leave married men alone. Person wey talk say
our water no go boil, dem no go sell matches for hin village o.
For Slighted Wives,
A Concerned Wife.