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I’m gonna marry
her anyway / (Marry that girl) Marry her anyway / (Marry that girl) Yeah
no matter what you say / (Marry that girl) And we’ll be a family:
Magic! — Rude Lyrics
The First Kiss
When I had my first kiss with my girlfriend number one, I could still
feel the tingling on my lips hours later. It was like a million
exploding stars. I swear I did not eat that night and did not wash my
face the next day. I was in love for sure!
The First Slap
When I met
number 2, I was smitten with her seemingly timeless beauty. I was in
love and I thought she felt the same at that time. I tried to kiss her
but got a slap for my efforts. It stung but I laughed it off. I was in
love, regardless!
But I did not
marry either of them. Number One was interested in a rich, older,
sophisticated man: her college lecturer. She knew I was not the one and I
was downhearted for a long time. The wounds were healed by Number Two
till we both realised that we could not be happy together, not if we
want it forever. You see, no matter how hard we tried, I could not take
her to heaven. You know what I mean!
First love
Real love is
mutual, reciprocal and fulfilling. So, when I met my wife, I knew what
love was and how it should be. I knew exactly what I wanted and knew not
to settle for less. A woman who ticked all the boxes and more was
exactly the woman of my dreams. I was not about to settle for less or
compromise on any aspects. As they say, life is like a bus-stop. If you
board a bus, you can get off, at, or even before the final destination.
The journey is what you make of it and the company you keep on the bus
sure helps.
A partner that
makes the journey exciting and exhilarating keeps you on the bus till
the very end. Choosing the right partner is therefore vital. Do not
settle for less than you deserve: not for fame or for all the money in
the world! As Oprah Winfrey says, “Lots of people want to ride with you
in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.”
Teenage s*x
Almost all
Americans have s*x before marrying, according to premarital s*x research
that shows such behaviour is the norm in the U.S. and has been for the
past 50 years. The new study shows that by age 20, 75 per cent of
Americans have had pre-marital s*x. That number rises to 95 per cent by
age 44. These statistics are, perhaps, significantly different for
Nigeria. However, there should be a clear distinction between teenage
s*x and pre-marital s*x.
This article is not about teenage s*x!
Pre-marital s*x
For those who
are of age and ready for a serious relationship with a view to marriage,
test- driving your partner and ironing out the kinks may save a time of
misery. Many people today feel that you should try out your partner
before marriage. ‘Pre-marital s*x is normal behaviour and has been for
decades,’ says researcher Lawrence Finer, director of domestic research
at the Guttmacher Institute.
One important
reason for marriage is the sex. It has got to be great for both
partners. This can keep you on the bus for life! S*xual compatibility
and satisfying s*x is vital in relationships. You need a partner who
makes you smile in anticipation in the afternoon (when life is
stressful) and who you can turn to at night for endless pleasure. If it
is not happening (if you are not happy at night), it is not going to be
long-lasting, as frustration builds up and explosions occur in the
divorce courts.
Women are from Venus
We asked some
women to debate the value of pre-marital s*x recently. All of them have
heard or know someone who is unhappy in their marriage. They are
s*xually frustrated either because of the size of the man’s member
(usually too small!), er*ctile dysfunction, premature ej*culation or
just plain poor performance in bed. ‘A man who does not know how to
bring out the fireworks is not going to be around for long,’ said one.
Men are from Mars
We asked some
men about the same and their thoughts were completely different. They
would want to check that the woman is fertile and able to bear children
before marriage. So for many, it is not the s*x so much as the ability
to procreate. Similarly, a man with poor sperm count and infertility can
be difficult for some women to tolerate.
Test-drive your partner
One way to avoid
it is to know your partner intimately, know that you can achieve great
s*x together and know that you are compatible: able to live together
happily ever after. Sharing time with your partner and seeing that you
are a perfect fit is desirable before marriage.
Okay, this is not even my opinion but it’s open to debate!
Next week: Vote for Change or business as usual!
Written by Dr. Biodun Ogungbo
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