Sunday, April 16, 2017
BY FORCE MARRIAGE AND WHITE WEDDING
I have a question to ask here. It may look stupid in your sense of reasoning, but it is a question of mind boggling complexity. As you read further, you may need to nip your religious sentiment in
Often time when some marriages fail, the couples involved would only say, "that is how God wants it". In my own view, I don't think God wants it that way. He wouldn't have allowed both of you to meet each other in the first place if he had wanted it that way. I have seen many successfully wedded couples who divorced each other with little or no cogent reason, as well as others who lived happily after their wedding ceremonies.
I have also seen many couples who did not even partake in any white-wedding but live a married life worthy of emulation, as well as some others who did not wed but didn't live happily. I'am sure that I am not the only one who must have noticed all these. Having observed all these, my thoughts and observations landed me at two major conclusions stated herein:
1. Dragging your wife or husband to the alter as most intending couple do these days is not even a guarantee to a successful marriage. Rather, a guarantee to successful marriage, I think is embedded on perseverance, good understanding and love, not on classy wedding ceremonies.
2. Even if one did not wed, it is not also a guarantee that the couples would have worst marriage ever. A worst marriage, I think is precipitated by lack of the aforementioned three
(3) key elements. To me, the essence of all the white-wedding is to keep the couples together for better and for worst, in pains and in joys etc...! However, I'am sorry to say that couples of recent times only do it for the fun inheren in it, not for the purpose it was designed for. Ladies and gentlemen, before you resolve to live forever till death do you apart, be sure that you persevere, love, cherish and understand each other.
Now, let me come down a little bit. If you agree with me that white-wedding ceremony is not a
guarantee for happy and successful marraige, do you see it as a waste of resources or not? In fact, what is the hullabaloo about? You may need to consider the underlisted facts in your judgment...
1. White-wedding is not part of our culture and prior to its emergence, our grandfathers lived happily with minimal cases of divorce
2. Every girl wants her wedding to be the best. Hence, compelling their potential husband to waste the money that would be used to build the family on luxuries
3. Significant number of men borrow excessively to foot wedding bills just to impress their wives. Subsequently, they use about two or three years of their marraige to offset their various debts
4. There are some men of God who sees it as an instrument of exploitation
5. In every tradition in Igbo land, once the bride price is paid during the traditional marraige, the couples are pronounced married and therefore blessed by the parents and nothing stops them from living together from that very day
6. Most couples are just doing it for doing sake. They want to do what mr. A and B did without comparing their financial muscles. Hence, they see themselves conforming to what is trending.
In conclusion however, some of my female friends here may salute me with the conventional
saying which posits that, "only men without money often say that expensive soap scratches their body when used for bathing purpose". No worries about that, you can only say that because the money doesn't come from your purse. I just want to remind you that there are some things we do which does not add any value to our lives merely because its purpose is not known. I have said my own. Now, you can begin
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